I recently received this message in an email from a friend and had to share it. Thanks Renee!

I think it is so hard to stay out of the competitive mindset. This way of thinking has been drilled into most of our heads since birth. We competed with siblings for attention, competed for the best grades, competed to get the girl or guy that everyone else wanted, competed for jobs, etc.  I have been trying very hard to make a conscious effort to not compete…instead put your intention out there and let the results happen without forcing it or competing.  Wish me luck!


Rabbi Harold Kushner tells a wonderful story about a bright young
man who was a sophomore Stanford pre-med student. To reward him for
having done so well in school, his parents gave him a trip to the
Asia for the summer.

While there he met a guru who said to him, “Don’t you see how you
are poisoning your soul with this success-oriented way of life? Your
idea of happiness is to stay up all night studying for an exam so
you can get a better grade than your best friend. Your idea of a
good marriage is not to find the woman who will make you whole, but
to win the girl that everyone else wants.

“That’s not how people are supposed to live,” the sage admonished.
“Give it up; come join us in an atmosphere where we all share and
love each other.”

The young man had completed four years at a competitive high school
to get into Stanford, plus two years of pre-med courses at the
university. He was ripe for this sort of approach. He called his
parents from Tokyo and told them he would not be coming home. He was
dropping out of school to live in an ashram (a spiritual retreat).

Six months later, his parents got this letter from him:

“Dear Mom and Dad,
I know you weren’t happy with the decision I made last summer, but I
want to tell you how happy it has made me. For the first time in my
life, I am at peace. Here there is no competing, no hustling, no
trying to get ahead of anyone else. Here we are all equal and we all
share. This way of life is so much in harmony with the inner essence
of my soul that in only six months I’ve become the number two
disciple in the entire ashram, and I think I can be number one by

You can take the boy out of the rat race, but can you take the rat
race out of the boy?

I am concerned about some people’s narrow and dangerous ideas about
success. Achieving more, getting more, becoming number one. Not that
there is anything wrong with healthy achievement. It’s just that
there is a difference between earning well and living well.

A successful life is not always a high-achieving life. Sometimes it
is about accomplishing a worthwhile goal, even a private, personal
victory. Sometimes it is about improving one’s character. Sometimes
success is best defined by living into one’s own personal mission,
or finding a meaningful purpose to organize one’s life around. And
sometimes it is about learning how to live in peace, happiness,
generosity and love.

Someone put it like this: “I spent my life frantically climbing the
ladder of success. When I got to the top I realized it was leaning
against the wrong building.” Even if she got to the top first, it
made no difference. There is no merit in being first to arrive at
the wrong place in life.

You CAN BE successful in ways that matter. And your life can be
truly meaningful. If you’re leaning your ladder against the right
building, it doesn’t even matter if you make it to the top. Any life
spent going after things that count, will count as a life well

— Steve Goodier

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